It's not every day that you have to go online to defend yourself, but I started this blog a few years ago & I guess that it is the equivalent to an online diary. So I probably opened myself up to scrunity when I went online to start writing about my silly foray into the triathlon world.
Lately, I have taken on some not so nice readers. Maybe they read about me because they want to know what it's like to be a middle aged semi-serious triathlete. Maybe they like to check in to see what's going on in the world of NJ. How am I supposed to know? I didn't think anyone but my friends Cathy & Kelly actually read my blog, but apparently they do.
I've found out that some person, who also posts on Red Bank Green, my local online newspaper/site has been following me too. His name is Charles Lembcke & today he changed his blogger name to Mister Screwtape. Apparently he thinks I am the most despicable person in the whole wide world. That's ok, I'm sure there are a few others that feel the same way as you do. But here's the thing. I don't really care what some guy that hides behind a fake name thinks of me. Why? Because for the past 3 years you've been able to read all about me. Unfiltered. What you see on this page is what you get. 100% me.
So......to refresh everyone's memory.....lets start at the beginning. As you know, I started this blog to write about what a lame runner I am. How I can't make it past 10 miles without wanting to die. How I wish I was a better runner, blah blah blah. Interdispersed you will find funny stories, dog videos, knitting pictures, ocean views & yes, every once in a while a tiny story about my life. Or things that have happened in my life. Everyone knows me - single girl, happily living in NJ with her dog. Maybe that bugs Charles Lembcke, how the hell do I know what he is thinking? Clearly he has it out for me, as he has sent me 4 nasty comments to my blog. All deleted. Until now. Here's one he sent me today.
Subject: [Jenn's Triathlon Blog] New comment on 9/11.Mister Screwtape has left a new comment on your post "9/11":It's kind of creepy the way you keep intimating that you had some sort of relationship with Jerry. You didn't. You ought to stop stalking the memory of this dead hero.Nice, huh? My first response was of course, as I'm sure yours is, of complete & utter shock. To question my knowing someone who died on 9/11 was well, completely disgusting. & honestly, given the subject matter, who in their right mind would even go there? I'm a person who writes a blog about her life. Read it, don't read it, who cares? But to question me about someone who I cared about that died on day, well that is just too much.
You know what's creepy? That you hide behind an internet login. Clearly you post on my local newspaper, you have a problem with me.......why hide? So as much as it pains me to write this...here goes.
I met Jerry at a college friend's wedding. Her husband was his friend in Probie school. They lived together on Staten Island. My friend married him & we met the day of their wedding. Now was this some exciting love affair? Ah no, I was 26 years old when we met. 13 years ago. He was 33 & he was from Boston & there was no doubt that someday after he finished being a NY firefighter that he was going back to Boston. To his roots. He liked NY, but his home was in Boston. We dated, on and off for the next 2 years. Were we crazy in love? No, I'd say not, but we were close, very close & we did things that people who date do. I helped him paint his apartment in Queens a crazy blue color on our second date. We went out to dinner, we went to the beach, we talked on the phone, we gossiped, we laid on the couch watching tv & we laughed. & then he died. He was the first adult relationship that I have had where the person was no longer there one day to talk to. He used to call me all the time, at all crazy hours of the day & night. He'd always say the same thing - whatcha doin? at like 2 am when he'd come in from a fire call & he couldn't sleep because he was still all hopped up from the fire. & I'd always reply I'm making a cake, what else would I be doing at 2 am? & we'd laugh.
I spent tons of money on cell phone bills to talk to him, because back then, no one had unlimited plans & we would talk as he drove from Rockaway to West Roxbury - sometimes for 3 hours straight. I wish I had a copy of that $3,000 phone bill he got one month. Maybe that would prove that we dated. Or maybe the blue wine glasses I gave him to match his blue apartment would be enough. I wish I had kept the receipts from Pottery Barn, or wherever I got them. Maybe that would be enough for Mr. Lembcke.
What Mr. Lembcke doesn't know is how hollow & empty I felt that day that I knew he was missing. How people in my office had kept the NY newspapers away from me that week, in case his name was listed. & it was. My friend called me on Thursday morning to let me know he was one of the missing. I went to the memorial, with my college friend & her husband & we spent the weekend in Boston crying & laughing about our friend. Someone that we all loved. Was I the only girl he ever dated there? Nope & I'm happy to say that the other one has become a friend. We talk & we are having dinner in two weeks. With his family. So Mr. Lembcke, I dare you - to come with join me in a few weeks for dinner with them. As then you will know for certain that I would absolutely never in my life disgrace myself or his memory to make even 1% of this story up.
Do you know what it's like to go to a memorial for a person when there's no body? When there's 1,000 fireman lining the streets & you have no idea what is going on or when & if they will find him? Cardinal Law was at the wake, it was surreal to say the least. & then on that cold day in December, they found him. In the cold, with another firefighter. It was December 8, 2001. & I got the call the next day, from my college friend that they had found him & they were going to bring him home. I still cry about what happened to him. About what happened to 3,000 other people that day. & not just because I want to "stalk the memory" of someone you think I don't know.
You sir, are a total scumbag, to even suggest that I would do so is disgusting. & to write me comment after comment suggesting that I would make it up is just unwarranted & extremely unnecessary. To do so on the 11th anniversary is even more disgusting that I even have the words for. So let me say this. I don't think you quite understand the snakepit you just got yourself into. You can hide, go ahead, I hope you're good at it. Because I know a lot of people & if you want to keep this up....go ahead, but my suggestion to you is to limp off into the abyss because you're going to be sorry if you keep this up. & you can send me comments all day long, because they're never going to get posted, well except for the one above, so everyone could read all about you, or whoever you really are.
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