OK so I've taken a detour from blogging about running, biking & swimming to perhaps entertain my 4 readers with my dating escapades. As we all know from my last entry, date #1 was a bit of a bust. I figure you have to kiss a few frogs before you find Prince Charming, right? Ick.
Potential Date #2 emailed me. OK, he really wasn't my type, waaaaaaay too short & lived further than I was really interested in traveling (I know what you're thinking - too picky) but hey this is MY experiment & I get to pick the rules. There aren't many rules, but the few that I have I will not deviate from under any circumstance, maybe.
Here are the rules in no particular order:
1. Please live in Monmouth County. I live practically in the middle of Monmouth County, so I'm not really up for traveling more than a 1/2 hour in any direction. I would like someone that can come over & kill spiders or help me put up a shelf without having to travel 2 hours.
2. Please do not think it's appropriate to text/email prior to 7 am or after 10 pm at night. I don't know you well enough that I care to have my sleep interrupted & I don't really appreciate being woken up by your "booty call" texts. 10 pm or later calls are reserved for real emergencies (a friend getting dumped, or arrested or a death in the family).
3. Please don't continually text me. If you don't want to speak to me on the phone, I'm not really interested in a text saga with you.
4. Please don't wear sneakers on a date unless we are playing tennis or going out for a run.
5. Please, if you ask me out for drinks, don't expect me to pay. Hey, you asked.
6. Be respectful. I don't normally want to make out with someone I've never met & I don't think it's appropriate to try to have your hands all over me.
7. There will be no sex on the first date. & by the way, no sex on date 2-5 or later. Too bad. Again, please see rule # 6 about being respectful. I'm sure if you had a sister, you wouldn't want some creepy guy all over her on a first date.
8. I'm only going to meet you in a public place for date # 1. I'm not going to go anywhere with you alone & I'm going to make sure all my friends know I am on a date so that they can text/call me to see if I am ok.
Maybe this sounds harsh or prudish, but you know it's not! I'm not looking to hookup or for booty calls. I'm sure I could find a few people for that. I did this to see if there were any decent, nice men still out there. So far I am quite disillusioned.
Here is the story behind Potential Date #2:
Potential Date # 2 is a texter. He emailed me & then asked me for my number. OK, I gave it to him. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE. He likes to text. Not a lot, but at odd hours of the day or night. After our first original hi, how are you text he sent me a text at 12:30 am. Thanks to my crazy iPhone said text came through at 2:30 am. Not good. I work, full time. No, I am not some executive or have some high stress job, but I am a professional person who works in a professional office. I am not up all night texting, chatting on the phone or wasting time on Match. I don't expect a lot, but please respect the fact that 11 pm is a NORMAL person's bedtime. I get up at 6:30 for work & I am expected to be on my game at work, don't think it's ok to wake me up when we haven't even met in person.
PD #2 obviously doesn't get this as he has texted me 3 or 4 nights at around 1 am. OK, one was on Friday night, but still....I haven't responded to any of your previous late night texts, when will you get the hint? Clearly never.
Another fatal flaw with potential date # 2 (& I should have saw this coming) his Match screen name is a country. Yes, my sister guessed it immediately after telling her this. & I don't mind making fun of said country as 1/2 of my mother's family is from there. What does bother me is that he fits the sterotype for that country & it's annoying. I do not appreciate being called hon, sweetheart or cutie. You are not a 90 year old man or my grandmother, so again, be respectful. In addition, I do not know you so it isn't appropriate to ask me to come over & give you or have you give me, a back massage. Again, see rule #6 about keeping your hands to yourself!
Seriously though, I had had just about enough with PD #2 that I sent him the following text thinking he may get the hint after his "massage" text:
Me: Don't take this the wrong way but I didn't join match to get laid. I can go out to a bar if I wanted to do that. Just looking to go out on dates & maybe find a bf. If that's cool with you then ok, if not, I understand.
PD#2: I'm not looking to get just laid I want a romantic gf.
Me: Texting isn't romantic. If you want to go out feel free to get back to me.
OK, so I am thinking that at this point this stupid jerk has finally gotten the hint. Nope, more texts follow the next day. Now he wants me to go to Atlantic City with him. Atlantic City?!?!?!? I have lived in New Jersey all my life. I can count on 1 hand how many times I have been to AC & I'm not driving an hour & a half down there with someone I have never met before. Besides the obvious you could be a serial killer (& you may all be laughing but look up Craigslist Killer - as I went to school my whole life with his fiance's family), but what if I don't like you? I can't get home from AC by myself & it's just weird. Meet me out for a drink, or hell even Starbucks at this point, then lets talk a little before you wisk me off to the Borgata.
At this point I am really thinking that PD #2 is catching on, but no he is still texting & still inquiring about my travels to AC. Finally on Sunday morning he asks me if we are going on a date. I told him I made plans, but that I am free all week. Now he wants to know if I will come over & hang out. Um.....no I don't know you. I'm not coming to your house. I tell him that if he'd like to call me & make plans, that would be great. Shocker then phone never rings, but bing bong next text on Monday morning. Wow, I guess the pics I posted must have been really good because that's all he knows of me at this point. The last text from him said - we should meet later.
Ugh, really? It's been like 4-5 days of stupid texts with you. I have plans to eat porkroll & then go out later. Yes, I didn't do much on Monday, but I am not interested at this point. You missed every opportunity to be normal & call me, so I'm sorry to say that Potential Date # 2 - the texter is quickly affirming my belief that Match is full of guys looking only to hookup.
I am happy to report that I have been emailing with Potential Date # 3 & Potential Date # 4 & we shall see what happens. The only piece of info I can give you about PD# 3 is that he plays some form of semi-professional football. Ah yeah, whatever that may be!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
My $39.99 Experiment
I know everyone is getting bored reading about my running & swimming escapades, so I thought Id' take this chance to let you all dip into part of my life I never talk about. It's easy to say I ran 5 miles today or that I need a new bike, it's not easy to tell everyone that back in May I got dumped by the brat.
Yes, it was sad & no I don't think I'm really over it, but I can say that I feel that it wasn't really my fault & circumstances beyond my control contributed to the breakup. That being said, I joined Match.com yesterday. Now, as we all know, I am not a big dater, or a serial dater, as my friend Erich described many Match clients. I did go out on a date a few weeks ago, a non-Match.com date, and it was not very successful. I decided that breaking out of my shell may help me put a fresh perspective on this whole dating thing & maybe help me get over being mad at you know who for dumping me.
Now, spending $39.99 on a dating site is not my idea of money well spent. I'd prefer to buy some makeup or hair gel or even that new hot yoga mat I've had my eye on at Lululemon, but I did it & voila I actually didn't want to throw up. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it is fairly easy, you go on, sign up, post a few pics, write a semi-coherent blurb about yourself & hit the save button.
When I went back into look a few hours later, praying that someone actually winked at me & maybe even sent me an email, I was pleasantly surprised to see 7 emails & 12 winks. Yes, some were from people from Connecticut (a bit too geographically undersireable for me) but I still was a little excited for myself. Off I went into the world of cyber-dating! I do have to chuckle at this because my grandmother is always talking about one of her friends & how her daughters met their husbands "online." As if "online" is code word for in a whorehouse and/or crack den. It's a different age now & why not try it out. OK, off I go.
I did receive a few winks from people that I really didn't find too interesting, like the 52 year old who looked like he could be my dad & the 23 year old nurse that was, as he claimed, "very mature" for his age. Um...ok. I don't even remember being 23 at this point in my life, I thanked him for the cute email but told him I thought I was waaaay too old for him. He wrote back again & disagreed, but lets just say that in Kentucky, I am old enough to be his mother.
A few emails & winks later I did see one guy that was kinda cute, a blonde, which I have always in the past liked! I wrote back & after a quick email or two, he sent me his number & asked me to text him if I wanted to meet for a drink. This is where it starts to get odd. Potential Date #1's phone number is 2 digits off from the brat's phone number. That should have been a sign, but of course it wasn't so I sent him a text & told him I'd love to meet for a drink. After a few texts, it was decided, drinks at a local bar later that day.
Putting all nervousness aside & wondering if I was in fact too old for Date #1 (he's 28 I'm 37) I found a cute black dress & some sandals & went for it. I have to say, I wasn't disappointed at first, he was very nice, cute, funny & very outgoing. I for one am a little more of a wait & see kind of person. I am very social & love to be out meeting people, but I'm not one to blab my whole life story to a complete stranger. I may tell everyone at work my entire life story, but I have known these people for 13 years, it is a lot different!
The one embarassing part of this story is that while in the midst of winking, emailing & texting I never even asked Date #1's name. When telling a friend about this prior to the date, she screached - who doesn't ask for his name? Well, I guess I don't. Hey, it was totally spur of the moment & I guess I got caught up in the whole I have a date thing. I had to think of a clever way to get his name without stealing his wallet or having someone run his license plate for me. OK, I'm just going to have to bite the bullet & ask. After asking, his reply was it's a really common guy's name. OH. GOD. Please don't be the same as the brat's name, or I'm getting up & going home, back to watch my previously DVR'd episodes of Rescue Me. Where is a good Tommy Gavin lookalike when you need one? Thankfully, his name was not the same as any previous ex & we were back in business.
From that point on, I really felt the date was going very well, he was nice, outgoing, friendly, but then at some point, unbeknownst to me, it took a strange turn. Yes, Date #1 was considerably younger than I was. I didn't think much of it at first because most of the guys I work with are around the same age & I am used to it, but he was different. He reminded me of my sister's really good friend from high school, who is loveable, but a bit gregarious. He also looked a little like a cross between my ex-boyfriend who jerked me around for 10 years before going back to his ex-wife & a guy I have despised since kindergarten. But, I am being too judgemental, as I said to my friend Dori, it is a first date, we're not getting married!
About an hour into the date (and approaching the 11 pm hour) I felt myself wishing for home. It wasn't that I wasn't having fun, but a quick meet & greet was slowly turning into what I foresaw as an all nighter. Now it's been a long time since I've come into work after a date that lasted well into the wee morning hours & I didn't feel like this was one of those nights. Beauty rest people, I need it! & again, I really should say that Date #1 was really nice & I am sure very nervous, just as I was so I am hoping that people don't think I am bashing here, I'm just giving you a little insight into my first time going out on blind dates.
There were a lot of interesting tidbits of information thrown out by Date #1, but not me. I do not kiss & tell, that's for sure! I guess part of me wasn't sure what to expect & was happy that things seemed to be going well. Then there were a few red flags. & I know what you are all thinking, yes I am picky, yes I am obnoxious, yes I was raised to look at people's shoes when I first met them. OK maybe my mother will deny that, but I am a bit snobby at times, thanks mom! That doesn't mean that I don't have friends from all walks of life whom I love dearly, it's just that I can hear my mother saying over & over (in my head) to my brother STOP HOLDING YOUR FORK LIKE THAT. It's the little things that I always pickup on & that probably is my downfall.
Date #1 was (again for the 50th time) very nice. He talked a lot. Did I say a lot? Yeah, I mean A LOT. Which is fine, I don't want to sound conceited or petty or self centered, so I don't mind listening to a guy tell me what he does for a living. But, like my brother, he's one of those guys that works for a company in which no one knows what you do or can just say I do this for a living. Yes, my brother makes video games for one of the #1 video game companies in the world, but to this day I don't know if he is the janitor or the CEO. This guy was into something similar. One day I will meet a man I can introduce to my family & say hi, this is my boyfriend Matt the farmer or Ted the accountant. Life will be much simpler then.
After one drink we made our way to the diner. Now normally, as you all know I have been trying my hardest to eat better (and failing miserably) but the one rule I do stick to is no late night snacks. Cheese quesadillas & fries are not something I normally eat past 8 pm. But being the good 1st dater that I am, & being game for anything, I went to the diner & had some fries. This is where it all began to go horribly wrong.
Twice on the walk over, he wanted to kiss. OK, is that weird? I think it's weird! I just met you! You could have herpes on the lips or mono! Yes, that's my weird paranoid side kicking in, but I don't even know you! & I am so not a fan of PDA. Yes, I like to hold hands & don't mind the hello or goodbye kiss in public, but kissing in the parking lots of Red Bank for me was so 1986 & 8th grade. Sorry to pull out the prude card, but it was weird!
I excused myself to the bathroom to return all the "Are you OK?" texts I had received & I was back in action. Now again, it is almost 11:30 & I am getting tired. A yawn even slipped out & I was really embarrassed. I wasn't bored, I was just getting sleepy! The food comes & I am thinking who is going to eat all this? The RB diner is notorious for enormous portions. Well, after about 10 minutes, I saw first hand who gobbled down an entire portion that would have fed a family of 5. He actually said to the waitress, I'm as hungry as an Ethiopian! Eeek! Interesting.
The funny part to me was that I started to see bits & pieces of a few of my exes in Date #1. He had a few mannerisms that were so like one of my exes I had to look away at one point. It was weird! He also spoke incessantly to the waitress. Now, I'm all for being friendly, but I'm sure the waitress doesn't need to know that you haven't eaten in 12 hours or that you are on a date & how's it going? At one point, he even answered a call from one of his friends & proceeded to tell her how the date was going. But this wasn't the worst part of it........and there is something to be said for saving the best for last.
When I tell a story, it does take forever & there are bits & pieces that I forget or leave out or don't remember for days later. This morning, while online a Dunkin Donuts, the best part of the date hit me & I screamed at my sister. Holy sh*t! I forgot to tell you this. At one point over my fries, Date #1 asks me if I picked him to go out with because in his profile, he had checked, doesn't want kids. Honestly, I didn't even look at that part of the profile. This was my first date, it was something I was so not concerned with at this point. I looked at him & said no, I didn't even notice. This is when he asks - well do you want kids? I could feel a real air of seriousness in this question & to be truthful, it was not a question I was expecting on a 1st, 2nd or ever 3rd date. I answered him honestly. Said I never have had the urge to have kids, it's not something I have in the works, but I never rule anything out. To which he responded. I had a vasectomy when I was 26.
Seriously people, you cannot make this sh*t up. Here's to hoping Date #2 will be a little less eventful.
Yes, it was sad & no I don't think I'm really over it, but I can say that I feel that it wasn't really my fault & circumstances beyond my control contributed to the breakup. That being said, I joined Match.com yesterday. Now, as we all know, I am not a big dater, or a serial dater, as my friend Erich described many Match clients. I did go out on a date a few weeks ago, a non-Match.com date, and it was not very successful. I decided that breaking out of my shell may help me put a fresh perspective on this whole dating thing & maybe help me get over being mad at you know who for dumping me.
Now, spending $39.99 on a dating site is not my idea of money well spent. I'd prefer to buy some makeup or hair gel or even that new hot yoga mat I've had my eye on at Lululemon, but I did it & voila I actually didn't want to throw up. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it is fairly easy, you go on, sign up, post a few pics, write a semi-coherent blurb about yourself & hit the save button.
When I went back into look a few hours later, praying that someone actually winked at me & maybe even sent me an email, I was pleasantly surprised to see 7 emails & 12 winks. Yes, some were from people from Connecticut (a bit too geographically undersireable for me) but I still was a little excited for myself. Off I went into the world of cyber-dating! I do have to chuckle at this because my grandmother is always talking about one of her friends & how her daughters met their husbands "online." As if "online" is code word for in a whorehouse and/or crack den. It's a different age now & why not try it out. OK, off I go.
I did receive a few winks from people that I really didn't find too interesting, like the 52 year old who looked like he could be my dad & the 23 year old nurse that was, as he claimed, "very mature" for his age. Um...ok. I don't even remember being 23 at this point in my life, I thanked him for the cute email but told him I thought I was waaaay too old for him. He wrote back again & disagreed, but lets just say that in Kentucky, I am old enough to be his mother.
A few emails & winks later I did see one guy that was kinda cute, a blonde, which I have always in the past liked! I wrote back & after a quick email or two, he sent me his number & asked me to text him if I wanted to meet for a drink. This is where it starts to get odd. Potential Date #1's phone number is 2 digits off from the brat's phone number. That should have been a sign, but of course it wasn't so I sent him a text & told him I'd love to meet for a drink. After a few texts, it was decided, drinks at a local bar later that day.
Putting all nervousness aside & wondering if I was in fact too old for Date #1 (he's 28 I'm 37) I found a cute black dress & some sandals & went for it. I have to say, I wasn't disappointed at first, he was very nice, cute, funny & very outgoing. I for one am a little more of a wait & see kind of person. I am very social & love to be out meeting people, but I'm not one to blab my whole life story to a complete stranger. I may tell everyone at work my entire life story, but I have known these people for 13 years, it is a lot different!
The one embarassing part of this story is that while in the midst of winking, emailing & texting I never even asked Date #1's name. When telling a friend about this prior to the date, she screached - who doesn't ask for his name? Well, I guess I don't. Hey, it was totally spur of the moment & I guess I got caught up in the whole I have a date thing. I had to think of a clever way to get his name without stealing his wallet or having someone run his license plate for me. OK, I'm just going to have to bite the bullet & ask. After asking, his reply was it's a really common guy's name. OH. GOD. Please don't be the same as the brat's name, or I'm getting up & going home, back to watch my previously DVR'd episodes of Rescue Me. Where is a good Tommy Gavin lookalike when you need one? Thankfully, his name was not the same as any previous ex & we were back in business.
From that point on, I really felt the date was going very well, he was nice, outgoing, friendly, but then at some point, unbeknownst to me, it took a strange turn. Yes, Date #1 was considerably younger than I was. I didn't think much of it at first because most of the guys I work with are around the same age & I am used to it, but he was different. He reminded me of my sister's really good friend from high school, who is loveable, but a bit gregarious. He also looked a little like a cross between my ex-boyfriend who jerked me around for 10 years before going back to his ex-wife & a guy I have despised since kindergarten. But, I am being too judgemental, as I said to my friend Dori, it is a first date, we're not getting married!
About an hour into the date (and approaching the 11 pm hour) I felt myself wishing for home. It wasn't that I wasn't having fun, but a quick meet & greet was slowly turning into what I foresaw as an all nighter. Now it's been a long time since I've come into work after a date that lasted well into the wee morning hours & I didn't feel like this was one of those nights. Beauty rest people, I need it! & again, I really should say that Date #1 was really nice & I am sure very nervous, just as I was so I am hoping that people don't think I am bashing here, I'm just giving you a little insight into my first time going out on blind dates.
There were a lot of interesting tidbits of information thrown out by Date #1, but not me. I do not kiss & tell, that's for sure! I guess part of me wasn't sure what to expect & was happy that things seemed to be going well. Then there were a few red flags. & I know what you are all thinking, yes I am picky, yes I am obnoxious, yes I was raised to look at people's shoes when I first met them. OK maybe my mother will deny that, but I am a bit snobby at times, thanks mom! That doesn't mean that I don't have friends from all walks of life whom I love dearly, it's just that I can hear my mother saying over & over (in my head) to my brother STOP HOLDING YOUR FORK LIKE THAT. It's the little things that I always pickup on & that probably is my downfall.
Date #1 was (again for the 50th time) very nice. He talked a lot. Did I say a lot? Yeah, I mean A LOT. Which is fine, I don't want to sound conceited or petty or self centered, so I don't mind listening to a guy tell me what he does for a living. But, like my brother, he's one of those guys that works for a company in which no one knows what you do or can just say I do this for a living. Yes, my brother makes video games for one of the #1 video game companies in the world, but to this day I don't know if he is the janitor or the CEO. This guy was into something similar. One day I will meet a man I can introduce to my family & say hi, this is my boyfriend Matt the farmer or Ted the accountant. Life will be much simpler then.
After one drink we made our way to the diner. Now normally, as you all know I have been trying my hardest to eat better (and failing miserably) but the one rule I do stick to is no late night snacks. Cheese quesadillas & fries are not something I normally eat past 8 pm. But being the good 1st dater that I am, & being game for anything, I went to the diner & had some fries. This is where it all began to go horribly wrong.
Twice on the walk over, he wanted to kiss. OK, is that weird? I think it's weird! I just met you! You could have herpes on the lips or mono! Yes, that's my weird paranoid side kicking in, but I don't even know you! & I am so not a fan of PDA. Yes, I like to hold hands & don't mind the hello or goodbye kiss in public, but kissing in the parking lots of Red Bank for me was so 1986 & 8th grade. Sorry to pull out the prude card, but it was weird!
I excused myself to the bathroom to return all the "Are you OK?" texts I had received & I was back in action. Now again, it is almost 11:30 & I am getting tired. A yawn even slipped out & I was really embarrassed. I wasn't bored, I was just getting sleepy! The food comes & I am thinking who is going to eat all this? The RB diner is notorious for enormous portions. Well, after about 10 minutes, I saw first hand who gobbled down an entire portion that would have fed a family of 5. He actually said to the waitress, I'm as hungry as an Ethiopian! Eeek! Interesting.
The funny part to me was that I started to see bits & pieces of a few of my exes in Date #1. He had a few mannerisms that were so like one of my exes I had to look away at one point. It was weird! He also spoke incessantly to the waitress. Now, I'm all for being friendly, but I'm sure the waitress doesn't need to know that you haven't eaten in 12 hours or that you are on a date & how's it going? At one point, he even answered a call from one of his friends & proceeded to tell her how the date was going. But this wasn't the worst part of it........and there is something to be said for saving the best for last.
When I tell a story, it does take forever & there are bits & pieces that I forget or leave out or don't remember for days later. This morning, while online a Dunkin Donuts, the best part of the date hit me & I screamed at my sister. Holy sh*t! I forgot to tell you this. At one point over my fries, Date #1 asks me if I picked him to go out with because in his profile, he had checked, doesn't want kids. Honestly, I didn't even look at that part of the profile. This was my first date, it was something I was so not concerned with at this point. I looked at him & said no, I didn't even notice. This is when he asks - well do you want kids? I could feel a real air of seriousness in this question & to be truthful, it was not a question I was expecting on a 1st, 2nd or ever 3rd date. I answered him honestly. Said I never have had the urge to have kids, it's not something I have in the works, but I never rule anything out. To which he responded. I had a vasectomy when I was 26.
Seriously people, you cannot make this sh*t up. Here's to hoping Date #2 will be a little less eventful.
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