Non Date #2 - The Texter

OK so I've taken a detour from blogging about running, biking & swimming to perhaps entertain my 4 readers with my dating escapades.  As we all know from my last entry, date #1 was a bit of a bust.  I figure you have to kiss a few frogs before you find Prince Charming, right?  Ick.

Potential Date #2 emailed me.  OK, he really wasn't my type, waaaaaaay too short & lived further than I was really interested in traveling (I know what you're thinking - too picky) but hey this is MY experiment & I get to pick the rules.  There aren't many rules, but the few that I have I will not deviate from under any circumstance, maybe.

Here are the rules in no particular order:

1.  Please live in Monmouth County.  I live practically in the middle of Monmouth County, so I'm not really up for traveling more than a 1/2 hour in any direction.  I would like someone that can come over & kill spiders or help me put up a shelf without having to travel 2 hours. 

2.  Please do not think it's appropriate to text/email prior to 7 am or after 10 pm at night.  I don't know you well enough that I care to have my sleep interrupted & I don't really appreciate being woken up by your "booty call" texts.  10 pm or later calls are reserved for real emergencies (a friend getting dumped, or arrested or a death in the family).

3.  Please don't continually text me.  If you don't want to speak to me on the phone, I'm not really interested in a text saga with you.

4.  Please don't wear sneakers on a date unless we are playing tennis or going out for a run.

5.  Please, if you ask me out for drinks, don't expect me to pay.  Hey, you asked.

6.  Be respectful.  I don't normally want to make out with someone I've never met & I don't think it's appropriate to try to have your hands all over me.

7.  There will be no sex on the first date.  & by the way, no sex on date 2-5 or later.  Too bad.  Again, please see rule # 6 about being respectful.  I'm sure if you had a sister, you wouldn't want some creepy guy all over her on a first date.

8.  I'm only going to meet you in a public place for date # 1.  I'm not going to go anywhere with you alone & I'm going to make sure all my friends know I am on a date so that they can text/call me to see if I am ok.

Maybe this sounds harsh or prudish, but you know it's not!  I'm not looking to hookup or for booty calls.  I'm sure I could find a few people for that.  I did this to see if there were any decent, nice men still out there.  So far I am quite disillusioned.

Here is the story behind Potential Date #2:

Potential Date # 2 is a texter.  He emailed me & then asked me for my number.  OK, I gave it to him. BIG MISTAKE.  HUGE.  He likes to text.  Not a lot, but at odd hours of the day or night.  After our first original hi, how are you text he sent me a text at 12:30 am.  Thanks to my crazy iPhone said text came through at 2:30 am.  Not good.  I work, full time.  No, I am not some executive or have some high stress job, but I am a professional person who works in a professional office.  I am not up all night texting, chatting on the phone or wasting time on Match.  I don't expect a lot, but please respect the fact that 11 pm is a NORMAL person's bedtime.  I get up at 6:30 for work & I am expected to be on my game at work, don't think it's ok to wake me up when we haven't even met in person.

PD #2 obviously doesn't get this as he has texted me 3 or 4 nights at around 1 am.  OK, one was on Friday night, but still....I haven't responded to any of your previous late night texts, when will you get the hint?  Clearly never.

Another fatal flaw with potential date # 2 (& I should have saw this coming) his Match screen name is a country.  Yes, my sister guessed it immediately after telling her this.  & I don't mind making fun of said country as 1/2 of my mother's family is from there.  What does bother me is that he fits the sterotype for that country & it's annoying.  I do not appreciate being called hon, sweetheart or cutie.  You are not a 90 year old man or my grandmother, so again, be respectful.  In addition, I do not know you so it isn't appropriate to ask me to come over & give you or have you give me, a back massage.  Again, see rule #6 about keeping your hands to yourself!

Seriously though, I had had just about enough with PD #2 that I sent him the following text thinking he may get the hint after his "massage" text:

Me:  Don't take this the wrong way but I didn't join match to get laid.  I can go out to a bar if I wanted to do that.  Just looking to go out on dates & maybe find a bf.  If that's cool with you then ok, if not, I understand.

PD#2: I'm not looking to get just laid I want a romantic gf.

Me:  Texting isn't romantic.  If you want to go out feel free to get back to me.

OK, so I am thinking that at this point this stupid jerk has finally gotten the hint.  Nope, more texts follow the next day.  Now he wants me to go to Atlantic City with him.  Atlantic City?!?!?!?  I have lived in New Jersey all my life.  I can count on 1 hand how many times I have been to AC & I'm not driving an hour & a half down there with someone I have never met before.  Besides the obvious you could be a serial killer (& you may all be laughing but look up Craigslist Killer - as I went to school my whole life with his fiance's family), but what if I don't like you?  I can't get home from AC by myself & it's just weird.  Meet me out for a drink, or hell even Starbucks at this point, then lets talk a little before you wisk me off to the Borgata.

At this point I am really thinking that PD #2 is catching on, but no he is still texting & still inquiring about my travels to AC.  Finally on Sunday morning he asks me if we are going on a date.  I told him I made plans, but that I am free all week.  Now he wants to know if I will come over & hang out.  Um.....no I don't know you.  I'm not coming to your house.  I tell him that if he'd like to call me & make plans, that would be great.  Shocker then phone never rings, but bing bong next text on Monday morning.  Wow, I guess the pics I posted must have been really good because that's all he knows of me at this point.  The last text from him said - we should meet later. 

Ugh, really?  It's been like 4-5 days of stupid texts with you.  I have plans to eat porkroll & then go out later.  Yes, I didn't do much on Monday, but I am not interested at this point.  You missed every opportunity to be normal & call me, so I'm sorry to say that Potential Date # 2 - the texter is quickly affirming my belief that Match is full of guys looking only to hookup.

I am happy to report that I have been emailing with Potential Date # 3 & Potential Date # 4 & we shall see what happens.  The only piece of info I can give you about PD# 3 is that he plays some form of semi-professional football.  Ah yeah, whatever that may be!