50/50

I ran the Spring Lake Five on Saturday 55:52.  I'm ok with that.  I ran the entire race, no walking, but the funny thing is that I was beaten by Larry the Lighthouse.  Yes, a man dressed as a 8' tall lighthouse beat me.  Hey, what can I do?  It was pretty funny to see someone dressed an a gigantic lighthouse.

I felt good for the entire race.  I ran the whole thing, didn't even think once about walking.  It was a little rainy, but I think that made for a better race.  I don't think it would have been as nice of a race if it was hot and muggy.

Sunday, however, did not go as planned.  I say this with great shame, but I did not swim the Navesink swim.  I am not very happy about this, but it has been a very long week.  Physically I probably could have gotten into the water & swam, but I knew that mentally I wasn't into it.

I did get up early to go down to Rumson & get my racing cap and shirt.  I did think about going back home & getting into my wetsuit, but as I stared into the water I knew that I wasn't going to get in the water.  It has been a hard few weeks and I have been drained emotionally.

This was really a big disappointment for me.  I've never not competed in a race, especially swimming.  Swimming has always been second nature to me.  I could always get in the water & just go.  But as I looked at the Navesink & watched people mill about, I knew it just wasn't my day.  I really felt like a quitter.  It is a terrible feeling too.  But everyone assured me that it really wasn't a big deal.

I guess that they are right, it's one race & I suppose I can always sign up for another one later in the summer.  I'm hoping that I can wrap my head around everything that has been going on lately & shake off my feelings of dread and turn my 50/50 feelings back into 100% focus.

Hope to see everyone at the beach today.  Have a nice Memorial Day.